A letter to my Grandchildren.

Today is called the Glorious 12th! So what glorious event are we celebrating that earns itself such a fine title? A victory in battle led by Nelson, or one of our great generals like Wellington? Well, no actually, the 'Glorious' tag is to hide the fact that on this day, pretend sane and intelligent people arm themselves with shotguns and commit bloody murder. I promise you I am not making this up. The target of the day is a bird called the Grouse. The Grouse is specially bred for this day, all its short life it has been fed and cared for so that it will be fit and able to fly towards the guns so that it can be shot to pieces. Yes, I know it is very cruel and it should not be allowed to happen, but theses people do not understand, what they are doing is wrong. To the hunters, these birds are the perfect target,slow and stupid. The hunters are known as Hooray Henry's - enough said.